Frozentalia (Germanic version)
by Crazyfanperson
Summary: Frozen and Hetalia. Gilbert and Ludwig are the young princes of the kingdom of Prussia, both perfect in every way. Smart, healthy, handsome. Only the oldest of them is hiding a secret, one that forces him to live behind closed doors most of his life. What happens when it's exposed. May be a bit OOC. Hiatus
1. Chapter 1

Our story takes place a long time ago. And we know that because it takes place in the kingdom of Prussia, which as we all know is no longer around. Even though most of you readers probably wish it was. Anyway back to the story, the Kingdom of Prussia was ruled over by a beloved king and queen. The queen was expecting a baby and the entire kingdom was on the edge of their seats. Because you know, people in those days didn't have much to gossip about. So anyway, the queen was pregnant and had been for quite a while now. Then one evening, she finally went into labour. For those who know what that means I'm going to skip the detail to save your stomachs. For those who don't, tough I'm skipping anyway.

And so unto the king and queen was born a son. And this, my friends, is where our story begins...

"Wahhh!" Came the cries of the newborn as one of the nurses tried to calm it. The rest were busy trying to calm the queen, who was in a great deal of pain. They gave her something to help her sleep and eventually managed to calm the child enough for him to nod off as well. They placed the young prince in a cot and exited the room giving the two time to rest and recover. Strangely enough they were all so tired they forgot to unwrap the cloth they'd placed the baby in to actually look at him. If they had, they'd have got quite the shock.

It was several hours before the queen finally awoke again. She immediately sent for her husband, wanting to spend such a moment with him. Finally they had a child to continue their legacy. The king was clearly pleased by this as well. He entered the room with his chest stuck out and his head held high.

"My dear, how are you feeling?" He cooed, kneeling down at his wife's bedside.

"Just wonderful darling. We finally have a child."

The king nodded happily and allowed his eyes to wander to the cradle on the other side of the bed. He stood up and went other to look at his sleeping child. The baby was still curled up in his blankets, only two tiny pale hands were visible. The incredible lack of colour in these hands confused the king, and he picked the child up to get a better look. Doing so woke the baby prince but oddly enough he kept quiet this time. Instead of bawling like he had earlier, he finally opened his eyes to take his first look at the world around him. At the same time the king pulled back the shawl and gasped at what he saw. He was so shocked he almost dropped the poor boy.

"What is it my love?" The queen asked, seeing her husband look so stricken. She had a sickening feeling there might be something wrong with her child. Her husband turned to face her, fear shinning in his eyes. His hands shook ever so slightly as he handed the queen her son. Seeing the state her husband was in she was almost too scared to look at what she'd given birth to. Almost. When she finally lowered her gaze she was met with crimson red eyes staring up out of a pale face framed by silvery white hair. Her reaction to the baby was similar to that of her husbands. Except after the initial shock, she burst into tears. The king moved to comfort his wife, being careful of the baby in her arms.

"Oh my love what do we do?" She cried. "I've given birth to a monster!"

"Don't fret my dearest." He soothed. "I know where we have to go."

A good thirty minutes later and they were riding outside the village towards the forest. For within said forest there lived a powerful sorcerer. The king knew he was the only one who could help them. He clicked the reigns sending the horse galloping through the rows of trees. The queen clung to her husband with one arm, the other clutching their new son, who was now fast asleep, unaware of the concerns surrounding him. He didn't even stir when the horse finally came to a stop outside the magician's hut and the royal couple dismounted.

"Hello?" The king called. The door of the house slammed open to reveal a pissed off British man with abnormally large eyebrows. Otherwise known as Arthur the sorcerer. When he saw it was the king and queen his face immediately softened and he invited them inside.

"My king what brings you here?" He asked as they all sat at his table. He poured three cups of tea and handed them round.

"It's my son, he's uh..." The king tailed off, unsure of how to finish. The queen held out the child towards Arthur so he could see for himself. The sorcerer took the child and examined him. His eyes widened slightly as he got a look at the baby's... unique... appearance.

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about this." Arthur informed them.

"What?! What do you mean nothing?!" The King cried, standing up so violently his chair almost fell over.

"I'm sorry my king but this is not a magical occurrence. I can't change it."

"What are you talking about?" Asked the queen.

"He's not been cursed, his appearance is due to a gene trait known as albinism. Something I can't cure." Arthur dropped his head, disappointed he couldn't help the royal couple.

The king took a few deep breaths to calm himself before he spoke again. "So you're saying my son is an albino?"

Arthur nodded. Then with a heavy sigh the king slumped back into his chair.

"What must we do then?" He asked, to no one in particular. The question hung in the air, unnerving and unanswered.

"We cannot allow the public to learn of this, they'd try to kill him." The queen cried, clutching him to her chest. Despite her child's strange appearance she still loved him, he was her son.

"We will hide it." The king said solemnly.

"Hide him?!" Arthur cried. Appalled that the king was considering locking his son away.

"Not him! It!" The king cried. "We'll dye his hair or get him a wig or something. And contacts. Whatever makes him look normal."

Arthur wasn't sure if liked this plan either but felt it unwise to argue. The queen was all in favour of it, as long as their son would be able to have a normal life she'd go along with anything.

"Until then." The king continued. "We'll limit the staff so less people learn of this, and keep all citizens out of the palace."

So the king made arrangements for much of the staff to leave, have the gates of the palace sealed tightly shut and, as soon as he could stand on his own two feet, have his son's appearance altered to look more normal...


	2. Chapter 2

Five years have passed in our story now and our newborn has grown to, would you believe, five. He wears blue eye contacts everywhere now, as well as a blond wig. He himself knew why, his parents had explained to him that he wasn't... normal... So whenever he had to see people, which was most of the time, he wore his disguise. He was also given a name. Gilbert.

Now by this time the queen had gotten herself pregnant again. And our story resumes just after she'd given birth. Deja vu anyone?

The door creaked open ever so slightly as a young boy peaked into the room.

"Gilbert." Addressed his mother, recognising his curious blue eyes. Blue that wasn't really his. The small prince pushed his way into the room, followed by his father, and the two went to the queen. In her arms was the couples latest child and Gilbert's new baby brother. The king placed his hands on the queen's shoulders in a loving manner while Gilbert clambered onto the bed to get a closer look at the new baby. His eyes skimmed over the bundle in his mothers arms many times but the blankets hid the child far too well for him to get a proper look.

"Is he cursed like me?" Gilbert asked. His parents gasped in shock.

"Gilbert! How many times do we have to tell you, you are not cursed!" His mother scolded.

Gilbert lowered his head and apologised quietly. Sensing their son's distress, both the king and queen softened their glares.

"Look," the king said, placing a hand on the prince's shoulder. "You're not cursed, or a monster or a demon, just different."

"That's not a bad thing," the queen added. "You just need to keep it hidden so they don't think so."

Gilbert nodded, just as he did every time his parents gave him this speech. He never truly believed it though. To him, their words meant little compared with that of his eyes. He'd seen everyone in the palace and not one of them looked like him in any way. Plus, although he'd never seen the outside world, he'd been told that the people there didn't look like him either. But what made him realise most of all that he was a monster, was when he'd first seen himself. He never had a mirror in his room and as such had no idea what he looked like. He always wondered what could be so strange that his parents made him wear a disguise wherever he went. One day his curiosity killed him so much he couldn't stand not knowing any longer. So he snuck into his parents bedroom and took a peak in his mother's mirror. What he saw terrified him. The red of his eyes reminded him of blood and his hair looked like blistering cold snow. He reeled back in shock, hitting the wall behind him. The image he now saw in the mirror was a horrified young boy, but all he could think of was how much he looked like a demon from a storybook or something. The door to the room suddenly opened and his parents walked in. They both stopped still when they saw their son cowering on the floor, staring at the mirror. It took them only a second to realise what happened and they both felt a deep sense disappointment. Mainly towards themselves for not keeping this from him a bit longer. Until he was old enough to understand. But they had failed, now the damage had been done, and Gilbert thought he was a monster. He was worried the same fate would befall his new brother. So seeing for the first time was quite a surprise. He looked just like their father, straight, shiny blond hair, and light baby blue eyes. He really looked like Gilbert when he was wearing his disguise, only this was no costume.

"He looks like you." Gilbert said, looking up at his father.

"Yes," The king smiled. "Finally." He murmured thinking no one had heard. When in actual fact Gilbert's keen ears had picked it up, at the same time his heart sunk. He wasn't a fool, he'd always suspected his father had wished he was normal. This new child was the picture of perfection in his parents eyes and he knew that. However, he'd already resolved not to hate his new brother. When his mother had first told him about the baby he'd been immediately jealous and resentful. He didn't want a new child to take the attention away from him, he'd even had a full on tantrum he was so upset. He'd been sent to his room to cool off and reflect on his actions. Once the cooling off was done with he did start to think about things. He wondered why he was really upset about this, what attention would this new child really take, it wasn't like he spent hours on hours with his parents. He spent most of his days studying with his tutors or when he managed to snag a few hours of freedom he liked to go down to watch the palace nights train. To him there was no better sound than the clash of swords and victorious laughter of the winner. His parents tended to always be too busy running their kingdom to spend time with him. However he knew this was only half true, sure they were busy but he could also see that they would avoid him anyway. They were embarrassed to have a demon for a son. Just thinking about this brought tears to his eyes and he flung himself onto his bed and sobbed into his pillow. Was it so much to ask just to be loved? What had he done wrong? He never asked to he born this way? That made him think about the new baby. Would it be a monster to? He thought about it for a good while and eventually concluded that he'd love his new sibling no matter what, the way he'd always wished someone would love him.

So when he looked into the blue eyes of his new brother he felt nothing but love and caring. He kept it well masked of course, he'd learnt it was better to keep his emotions hidden.

"His name's Ludwig." The queen said, placing him in Gilbert's arms.

"Hallo Ludwig." Gilbert whispered. "My name's Gilbert."

The youngest prince looked straight at Gilbert as he spoke and gave a pleased giggle when he introduced himself.

The king and queen smiled at their sons, perhaps, just perhaps they could finally start acting like a family.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay welcome to another point in the lives of Elsa and Anna. Oops sorry I mean Gilbert and Ludwig! This is the problem with combining stories you often forget who's story you're telling. Anyway, our young princes are now 11 and 6. I doubt I need to tell you who's who, and if you really are that stupid just ask a friend to explain. In the meantime let us continue da?

"Ludwig! Ludwig!" Gilbert called. The two of them were playing hide and seek in the palace gardens and Ludwig was definitely winning. From the moment Ludwig was old enough to play with Gilbert the two had been inseparable, sure Gilbert could be egotistical and he was hiding his true appearance. And Ludwig was overly serious about everything and liked everything to be specific. Basically Ludwig saw the world as black and white while to Gilbert it was just one colour, which one he didn't know, though he sometimes suspected red. They were very different but still they got along, because they both did the one thing the other had always wanted someone to do: love each other no matter what. They had to study hard, being princes, but they were still young and allowed time to play. During their current play session they'd decided on a game of hide and seek as Ludwig said it was a classic game appropriate for their age bracket, and Gilbert hadn't cared. Though he cared a bit now, he'd wandered through the rose garden five times and still no sign of his bruder. He was on the verge of giving up, when he heard a gentle rustle from the tree adjacent to him. He smirked and walked over to it. With a swift kick to the trunk he succeeded in shaking his bruder out and into his waiting arms.

"Hey, you could have killed me!" Ludwig cried.

"Hey!" Gilbert defended. "I caught you didn't I." He placed the youngest prince on the ground and ruffled his hair. "The awesome me would never let anything harm you. I'm too awesome to."

"Really?" Ludwig asked, looking up into his bruder's eyes. Gilbert nodded, his tone had upbeat and arrogant but inside he knew he really did mean what he said. He'd sworn to himself to be a good brother to Ludwig and never let anything bad happen to him. He didn't want his baby bruder feeling unloved as he did. He knew that despite how well he'd been getting along with his parents since Ludwig's birth, they were still ashamed of him. All the staff in the palace were simply paid to care for him, not about him. As for those he was close to, like his brother and the knights, who'd started teaching him a few things about combat and letting him hang out with them when they had some time, well, he knew they loved him sure. However he also knew, that if they saw what he really looked like, they see him for the monster he was. He tried his hardest to convince himself he wasn't a monster no matter what he looked like, but deep down inside something still kept him doubtful.

"Aren't you coming?"

He looked up from his thoughts to see Ludwig waving from the door. With a quick sigh he ran to catch him up...

After a quick trip to their rooms to make themselves look more presentable, and so Gilbert could check his wig and contacts, the two princes joined their parents in the grand dining room for dinner. It was the usual feast of all the finest foods, and like always the king sat at the head on the table with his wife on one side and sons on the others. However this time they had another member seated at the table. An incredibly tall man with greyish blond hair, and violet eyes. This was rather unusual for an eye colour but compared to the piercing red of Gilbert's it wasn't that strange.

"Children." The queen addressed, noticing the stares of confusion her sons were giving the man. "This is Ivan Braginski," She gestured to said tall person. "He's going to be looking after you while we're away."

"Oh, you never said you were leaving." Said Gilbert, as he and Ludwig sat down in their usual seats.

"We have to visit a neighbouring kingdom." Said the king. "Don't worry we won't be long, only around two weeks."

"So we'll have two weeks of fun da?" Said the man, now know as Ivan. Gilbert and Ludwig noticed he had a heavy Russian accent and a rather... sadistic smile... it left them both somewhat unnerved.

"Why must he take care of us?" Ludwig asked. "Surely we can do so ourselves."

"Don't be silly, you are merely children, even if you're quite mature for your age." Their mother replied solemnly.

"Well the staff and knights will still be here." Gilbert pointed out.

"They're paid to be here." Said the king, "Ivan is a family friend, we'd feel better you were cared for by someone we trust."

No one had anything to say after that, so they all ate their dinner in silence. All the while Ludwig and Gilbert kept getting bad vibes from Ivan, and Gilbert was certain he was staring at his hair on more than one occasion when he didn't think he was looking. He discovered why when his parents caught him on his own after they'd eaten and explained that Ivan was aware of his Albinism. They said another reason they asked Ivan to look after them was because they wanted someone with knowledge of his... problem... to help keep an eye on him. This new information, if anything, made him feel even more unnerved than before. In fact he almost tripped up when he passed Ivan on the stairs, the latter simply smiled at him, although Gilbert could see it didn't quite reach his eyes.

Two days later the royal couple departed for the neighbouring kingdom, not knowing they wouldn't return. On the trip back their ship was caught in a storm and sunk. Leaving both Gilbert and Ludwig alone. Neither prince wept for their parents, Ludwig was too practical, he thought it would be pointless to cry over what was already done. While Gilbert simply didn't have the energy to cry, he just spent most of his time lying his bed staring into space. Meanwhile, it was decided that, as the only one qualified, Ivan was to take run the kingdom until Gilbert was old enough to ascend the throne. He also became the princes official guardian and took over Gilbert's studies personally.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, so back to the story. No time skips this time our princes are still 11 and 6. They've just lost their parents and are now being cared for by Ivan. By the way I love Russia and I think he's a great character, who's not evil just lonely. But someone has to be the bad guy in every story so I guess it'll just have to be this way.

"Good morning." A very thick Russian accent greeted Gilbert when he woke up. He cracked his eyes open a bit to see Ivan's face pressed dangerously close to his. He screamed in shock and backed away so far he fell out of bed. Ivan just laughed, he sounded like a child, a demonic child. Once his laughter died out he simply stared at the young prince. Gilbert kept eye contact with him, too shaken to move for a bit. Then very cautiously he rose from the floor and edged his way to his dresser. "Now then." Said Ivan as Gilbert gathered his clothes, "there's going to be some changes round here."

"Mm?" Said Gilbert as he began combing his snowy hair back.

"For starters, you are not allowed to leave this room anymore."

"What?" Gilbert cried. He whipped round to face Ivan, dropping his comb in the process.

"You heard me, you are not to leave. Also, I never want to see those disgusting eyes and hair of yours again."

Gilbert just stared at him, open-mouthed.

"I will be here every morning at 6 o'clock sharp to commence with your tuition I expect you to look somewhat normal when I enter."

"But… But I…" Gilbert stuttered.

"You what?" Ivan demanded, he stared at Gilbert, almost daring him to speak.

"I don't want to stay here all day." He muttered.

"Well too bad," Said Ivan. "Demons aren't allowed to see the outside world."

Gilbert's head snapped up at that. "I'm not a demon." He said.

"Oh…" Ivan drawled. Then suddenly he lunged forward and grabbed a handful of Gilbert's hair. The prince cried out in pain as he was dragged by his freakishly white locks to the bathroom across the hall. Ivan released his grip and shoved him in front of the mirror. "Take a good look." He instructed. Gilbert did look. He couldn't help it, ever since he'd seen himself as a child he'd been too afraid to look at himself in a mirror without his disguise. This was the first time in years that he'd seen what he really looked like. He'd gotten a bit taller and his features had matured slightly, but his most striking aspects, namely his skin eyes and hair, were just as terrifying as he remembered. His eyes were still the same demonic shade of blood, his hair was a prominent silver and his skin was so freakishly pale he looked like a ghost. "So." Said Ivan, after he'd given Gilbert a few minutes to take in his appearance. "Still think you're not a demon?"

Gilbert dropped his head in defeat, a deep sadness shining in his eyes. "No." He whispered. "I'm a demon."

"Yes you are, and you're a monster."

"And I'm a monster."

"And a freak."

"I'm a freak."

"Right, so from now on you're going to stay behind closed doors." Ivan ordered. "Where you belong."

He then lead Gilbert back to his room and told him he would be back within the hour, and that he expected him to look presentable by the time he returned. Gilbert nodded and got dressed in silence. Ivan still wasn't back by the time he was done shoving his obscene hair in his wig. Gilbert couldn't stop thinking about what Ivan had said. Was it true? Was he a monster? Every else seemed to think so. He sat down on his bed and stared at his bedroom door. It was shut. _Behind closed doors._

"Where I belong." Gilbert whispered, as a stray tear ran down his face.


	5. Chapter 5

Again there is no time skip as we continue on… So Ivan (a.k.a Russia) forced Gilbert to remain in his room and have no contact with anyone. Even Ludwig. (Try imagining like his room door is the Berlin wall. Bringing history into this!) Ludwig didn't understand why his brother no longer came out, whenever he asked Ivan about it the Russian simply said Gilbert wanted to be alone. Ludwig had the feeling there was something else he wasn't telling him, but knew it wasn't in his place to question it.

Meanwhile Gilbert was starting to feel more and more insecure about his appearance.

"You must hide it!" Ivan snapped at him.

"I know."

He did his best to keep his eyes hidden behind contacts, and shove his hair into a wig. He was even forced to rub some sticky brown substance on himself to hide his pale skin now.

"If you are ever going to be king you must learn how to rule properly." Ivan continued. He paced the room as Gilbert sat at his desk. It was piled high with papers and files as he studied for his life as a ruler.

"Don't worry." He said. "I'll be a great king. The awesomest king ever, kesesese."

He began to laugh happily. His laughter was suddenly cut off as a loud smack echoed in the room. Gilbert looked up from his position on the floor to see Ivan glaring down at him with anger and hatred. He brought a hand up to his cheek only to hiss in pain and pull it away.

"Never use that word again." Ivan ordered, disgust and malice soaking his voice. "Monsters are not awesome."

"Yes sir." Gilbert said, scrambling back to his feet.

"And you are a monster."

"I am a monster."

"You are a freak."

"I am a freak."

"You are a demon."

"I am a demon."

He kept his head down the entire time, not allowing Ivan to see the tears stinging his eyes.

It soon became a habit for Ivan to make Gilbert recite those words three times a day, and the more his did, the more he believed them.

Ivan began to beat Gilbert if he so much as hint that there was something good about him. It seemed to him that any form of confidence the young prince might have, had to be crushed.

He continued to uphold his rule of Gilbert being fully disguised by the time he entered his room in the morning. Unfortunately, one morning, Gilbert overslept and awoke to see the larger mans face, with a psychotic smile, pressed up next to his. He screamed and back away so far he fell right out of bed. Ivan giggled as he watched Gilbert become so flustered. His laughter frightened Gilbert more than the albino would dare admit. When Ivan was angry it meant a beating, however when he was happy, that usually meant something so much worse.

"What did I tell you, you must always have done by the time I enter." Ivan asked, his voice sadistically happy.

"Uh… I…. M-must have my hair a-a-and eyes hidden…" Gilbert stuttered.

"Right. And do you?"

"…No…" He whispered, getting very scared now.

"Well then I have no choice but to punish you." Ivan said, like it was a matter of fact. Gilbert climbed back to his feet and stood waiting to see what Ivan would do. On the outside he looked defiant and uncaring, on the inside he was terrified. He had horrible memories of Ivan's previous punishments, from that time he broke the flute his grandfather had given him to when he'd locked him in his cupboard for an entire day. By now Gilbert was use to hiding his fear from his guardian, or more accurately, tormentor. However, when Ivan produced a whip from under his coat, he couldn't help but take a few steps back. The shock of seeing the weapon caused his mask of indifference to crack slightly and allow a look of fear to overcome his face. A look Ivan reveled in.

"Stand over there." Ivan instructed, pointing to the window. Gilbert didn't move. "I said stand over there!" Ivan grabbed Gilbert's arm and gave a harsh yank. Gilbert gave a cry of surprise as he was shoved towards the window of his room. Once there Ivan asked no more of him, choosing to do everything himself, unwilling to wait for Gilbert. He stripped the young prince and bound his hands, which were then tied to the window frame. The fear in Gilberts chest began to rise as he realised he was trapped. He also began to feel embarrassed about being seen naked, especially by Ivan.

The older man gave one last giggle as he pulled the whip back, then brought his arm down as fast as he could. It hit Gilbert's back with a satisfying crack, and the poor boy cried out in pain. He'd never experienced anything like this before, never had anything caused him so much physical pain, and it was only the first strike. After ten slashes he felt tears begin to accompany his screams, and after twenty he'd been reduced to a sobbing mess. His entire back was caked in blood. Ivan untied his hands and he feel to the ground, howling and crying in pain. The Russian man simply watched the child for a few minutes, his face showing no emotion, almost as though he was studying the albino. After about ten minutes Gilbert's sobs began to turn into sniffs and coughs. He was still unable to stop the flow of tears and all the blood he'd lost was beginning to make him feel light headed. Ivan went to the bathroom across the hall and got a first aid kit. He cleaned and bandaged Gilbert's wounds then left him alone, promising to be back within two hours, and he hoped, this time, Gilbert would: "Look more appealing."

As soon as he was alone, Gilbert curled in on himself and began sobbing into his knees. His emotions were so mixed up right now the only solution was to cry it out. He felt like his back was on fire; he felt humiliated at having broken down in front of the man causing him pain; he felt ashamed that he hadn't hidden his 'deformities' before Ivan arrived and more than anything he felt alone and unloved. That was the day he removed the word awesome from his vocabulary. Up until then he'd still continued using it in his diary of whenever he was alone, but now he gave it up all together. Crying, naked, and whipped, he felt the exact opposite of awesome. He felt like the freak he already knew he was.


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning: This chapter, once again a snippet of the torture Ivan puts Gilbert through, contains slight omorashi. Nothing major and no sexual references but if this isn't your thing I advise caution.**

This time we are moving ahead again. Yay! So now Gilbert is 15, Ludwig is 10 and I don't know what age Ivan is, let's just say somewhere middle aged and leave it. Over the last few years Ivan had continued to abuse Gilbert and make him believe he is a monster. Ludwig had begun to grow even more curious about what his brother was doing and why he never left his room or played with him anymore. Feeling alone and rejected, he began to invest himself in his studies, sometimes working well past midnight. Gilbert was the same, staying up late to write in his journals or learn everything Ivan had told him to, so as to avoid another beating. Besides, sleep only ever brought nightmares to the minds of the young princes.

"Gilbert." Ludwig called one day, knocking on his brother's door. "Do you want to go play, just for a bit."

The door was flung open violently to reveal Ivan, glaring down at Ludwig.

"I'm sorry but Gilbert doesn't want to see you, do you?" He turned around to look at Gilbert, sitting as his desk. Ludwig hadn't seen his brother in over four years, he looked a bit older. His blue eyes still had little in the way of light and his hair was the same messy blonde it had always been. Though when he looked more closely he could see bags under his brother's eyes, indicating he hadn't been sleeping. His eyes also had a rim of red around them as though he'd been crying.

"Yes, go away Ludwig." He said, no emotion showing in his voice whatsoever. Ludwig's face showed a flash of hurt before he covered it up with a look of indifference.

"Okay, perhaps another time." He said, nodding politely and excusing himself.

As soon as he was gone Ivan shut the door and turned to Gilbert.

"Well done, you said the right thing." He praised. "Now on to the next rule of distribution…"

Gilbert tuned out his teacher for a moment as Ludwig's disappointed expression surfaced in his mind. He hated having to tell his brother to go away but knew that what Ivan had said had been right.

 _Flashback_

 _"Sir?" Gilbert said one evening._

 _"Yes demon?" Said Ivan. Gilbert flinched at the word demon but tried to ignore it._

 _"I've been working really hard lately and I was wondering if I could take a break. I really want to see my bruder."_

 _It seemed like a reasonable thing to ask for. Not to Ivan though. The sharp pain of a slap on Gilbert's cheek was proof of that._

 _"How dare you. I told you, you were never to leave this room."_

 _"Yes but I—"_

 _"Besides." Ivan's tone suddenly dropped all anger and became taunting. "Why would your brother want to see you."_

 _Gilbert looked up at him, both confused and ever so slightly scared._

 _"Do you think he'd really love you if he knew what you are?"_

 _Gilbert recoiled sharply as the words hit their mark._

 _"I often pity him," Ivan continued. "Cursed with a monster as a brother."_

 _Gilbert dropped his head as tears began running down his cheeks._

 _"You should do him a favour and stay away from him, maybe then he'll realise how unworthy you are to be related to him."_

 _"Yes sir." Gilbert nodded._

 _Flashback end_

Although he thought he was doing his brother a favour by staying out of his way. He still felt guilty thinking of how upset he'd looked.

"FOCUS" Ivan roared, snapping a ruler on Gilbert's desk. He snapped out of his thoughts to look at his guardian's angry face. Knowing it would only get him into more trouble, Gilbert pushed all thoughts of his brother to the back of his mind and focused on his lesson.

So no time skipping this time either, just another story of one of Gilbert's days growing up.

This particular day was a Sunday and that meant Gilbert had no lessons. He was still confined to his room, and Ivan would be in to check on him regularly but otherwise he had a little time to himself. He tended to spend it writing in his journal. He had about ten of them now, he always made sure to record everything, every single detail of his life. He also made certain these books were kept well hidden. The ones he'd already completed were stashed in the secret compartment under his bed, while his current one was in a secret draw in his desk. He couldn't risk Ivan destroying them, or someone else finding them and discovering his secret. He placed his current one on his desk and opened it to a blank page. He began to record last night's events. He kept his ears open the whole time should Ivan suddenly burst in on him.

As soon as he was finished he got up and stretched his legs, it was then that he realised he needed to go to the bathroom, unfortunately that was down the hall and he wasn't allowed to leave his room. Normally he'd ask Ivan who would supervise the trip. It was only five minutes away but any risk of Gilbert being seen, even in his disguise was something the man seemed determined not to risk. Gilbert poked his head out the door and surveyed the area, the corridor was deserted. Deciding he couldn't wait for Ivan to arrive he slipped out, promising himself to be really quick. He crept quietly yet quickly down the hall, trying not to be seen or heard. He just made it to the bathroom door when a sickeningly familiar voice said:

"What do you think you're doing?"

Gilbert turned around to see Ivan stood right behind him. He pressed himself against the door in both fear and surprise.

"I-" He started, but Ivan wasn't having any of it. He grabbed the albino's arm and dragged him back to his room, making sure to pull as roughly as possible. Gilbert didn't complain even though it hurt. He refused to give Ivan that satisfaction. For deep down inside he was a very broken person, he hated himself more than anything, and all the things Ivan did only served to shatter his already splintered heart. He allowed non of it to show on the surface though. He would not appear weak, to anyone, despite all he thought of himself he could not bring himself to get rid of his pride.

"How many times must I tell you!" Ivan yelled. "You must not leave your room!"

He punched Gilbert right across his jaw. The young prince fell to the floor, clutching his mouth in pain.

"I'm sorry, I just really had to go to the bathroom." Gilbert tried to explain.

"I don't care; you do not leave this room without my permission."

Ivan turned to go but Gilbert stopped him.

"Wait, I still need to go."

Ivan faced his head to the side but did not turn round.

"As punishment for leaving without my permission you will remain here until I next return."

He opened the door and left. Gilbert stared in shock, surely he wasn't… A click reached his ears and he realised Ivan had locked him in. No surely he wouldn't be so cruel as to leave him in here when he was so desperate. Unfortunately, the footsteps he heard moving further and further away proved otherwise.

Gilbert sat on his bed for an hour becoming more and more desperate, he rolled around every few seconds unable to shake the horrible feeling. By now it was only his sheer will power keeping him from wetting himself. He refused to do something so childish, if Ivan came back and found him like that it would be too much. He couldn't, no wouldn't allow the man who constantly made his life a living hell see him in such a vulnerable state. He rolled over to the left again but the second he attempted to relax a small spurt of pee seeped into his pants. He gasped and clutched himself trying to stem the flow. Luckily for him he was able to stop it before anything became visible. He realised if he stopped moving he would loose all his control so he got up and began pacing around his room. He tried to keep his mind on other things but it was a big strain. There was never much he could think about. He couldn't think of himself, he hated himself too much. His parents were also a swore subject and the stuff he learnt in his lessons bored him. All he had left was his brother. He tried to focus his mind on Ludwig, remember everything about him and the times the two of them spent together. His thoughts began drifting back to that day in the garden when he had promised to always protect his younger brother. He thought bitterly of how he was doing a horrid job at keeping that promise.

He became so consumed in his thoughts he didn't hear the key turning in the lock of his door until it flew open to reveal the large Russian man behind it.

"Здравствуйте!" (Hello)

Gilbert jumped in surprise, and unfortunately for him that was all it took for him to loose his last ounce of control. His pants began to feel very heavy and damp. At first the relief was nice, then when it struck him that he was pissing himself in front of Ivan he felt very, very embarrassed. Ivan didn't miss the way his entire face turned as red as his eyes, with the paleness of his cheeks it wasn't hard. Gilbert couldn't believe this was happening, he had been worried about Ivan finding him after he'd wet himself but to have him actually witness it. How would he ever live this down… Unable to stand the humiliation any longer he burst into tears and collapsed to the floor, burying his red face in his hands. Ivan didn't say anything for a few minutes, he simply stood and admired the child's distress.

"Pathetic." Was the first word he said. Gilbert looked up at him with big frightened eyes. "Future kings do not cry or wet themselves like babies."

"But it wasn't my fault, you wouldn't-"

"Not your fault!" Ivan thundered. "If you hadn't left your room I would have come in myself and allowed you to leave, but instead you chose to go outside."

Gilbert let loose another sob and kept his face well hidden. Ivan sighed and bent down so they were at eye level.

"You must learn Gilbert," Ivan began, as though lecturing a small child. "That I have rules, and when you break them there are consequences. I'm only thinking of you and your brother, it's my job to care for you two."

Gilbert bit down on another sob and looked up at Ivan with red rimmed, water-stained eyes. It wasn't just the area around his eyes that was red though, while rubbing his tears away he'd also rubbed his contacts off, and they were now smeared across his cheeks. His eyes began watering again as he caught the look of disgust on Ivan's face. The Russian stood up and walked over to the window, looking very serious.

"You know why I don't let you leave here."

Gilbert nodded. "Because I will never be accepted, you are saving me from being ridiculed as a demon."

Ivan nodded. "Not to mention I'm protecting your brother, imagine what people would say about him if they knew he had a demon as a brother." Gilbert hung his head. "Also the embarrassment it would give the kingdom to have a monster for a king."

"Now, you will clean up this mess and not be allowed your dinner tonight." Ivan commanded, then left before Gilbert could protest. He was left alone, still damp and upset. He wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and stood up, suddenly noticing how cold his trousers had gotten. He felt the sting of humiliation return as the memory of wetting himself in front of his guardian/instructor re-surfaced. Unable to stand the feeling anymore, he torn his clothes off and threw them in his laundry basket. He changed into his nightwear and threw himself onto his bed. He began to sob into his pillow as he replayed the day's events in his mind. To him it was all only more proof that he was a worthless monster.

"He's right." Gilbert whispered to himself. "Ludwig does deserve a better brother than me."


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay I'll make this short I know no one likes to read these things. Just know that I first became interested in Hetalia because my friends loved it. But recently they've been horrible to me and don't want to be my friend anymore and it hurt so much I can't bare to think of things Hetalia related at the moment. So I'm putting this on hiatus and am going to focus on my other stories for a bit.**

 **Hope you understand xx**


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